Saturday, November 19, 2005

Humans Kill & Eat Animals That Look Weird & Act Stupid

If you are 1) a vegetarian, 2) believe we evolved from animals and 3) think animals should have all of the same rights as humans, you should stop reading this now. We love animals at AAEA, but with all due respect to PETA and ASPCA, our grocery stores are full of chickens, cows and pigs. There has to be a correlation between them being the weirdest looking and stupidest acting animals and their position in the meat section of Safeway and Giant. Society does not treat dogs and cats this way. Of course, they act civilized and look good. Do you have a pet chicken in your house?

Chickens just ask for it the way they peck all around the yard and have wings but can't fly. Cows moo and stand around eating grass all day for more than one stomach. Pigs have to be about the ugliest animals on Earth, they eat slop and wallow in mud. Now don't be mad at us for stating the obvious. It should make you feel good that at least hunters won't kill Bambi--just her parents. And deer are beautiful. That is why there isn't deer meat in the grocery store. Act stupid. Get taken for a ride. As Peter Clemenza said in the movie Godfather, "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
A: She wanted to lay it on the line.

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